Cooking, Creativity, and College

When I started out learning to program, my education was entirely self-directed, up until a few years later when I took my first formal class on the subject. I doubt that I would have developed the appreciation I have for programming if it were initially introduced to me through school, because that type of education is simply too structured to be enjoyable. Structured education doesn't exist for no reason, of course; you can still learn things that way, and grades provide a rough standard of measuring one's skill in a subject. Nevertheless, studying computer science in college has reduced my enthusiasm for the subject, because it has become difficult to understand programming on my own terms: my head is now filled with memories of stressful assignments, and certain terminology brings to mind the grating voice of some professor or TA.

I question whether I'll ever end up seeing programming as the powerful creative medium that I used to love, and all I can do is wait and see what happens. In the meantime, I'm rediscovering that old sense of enthusiasm by learning how to cook. It can be difficult to fit in my schedule, with all the classes and social events going on; and it's not too uncommon for me to absolutely botch a meal and be stuck for a few days with something barely edible. But of course, the reward is worth all the struggle: when things work out, few pleasures in my everyday life measure up to that feeling of satisfaction that comes with eating something delicious that I was able to prepare on my own. There's no homework, lectures, exams, grades or presentations; everything is practical and self-directed, and the amount of research, practice, or preparation I put into it simply depends on how I feel on a given day.